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31岁的焦俊艳:有房贷被催婚 但我过得很开心

2019-02-24 01:31:51

  北安空白发票_电.┿.微‌158-1587-9234 ‌-王.先.生---σ‌σ【781347782】诚/信/合/作,100%保。真。售/后.保/障,长/期/有/效元宵后上海首场“春风行动招聘会”在火车站举行
  
     焦俊艳。受访者供图
  中新网客户端北京2月22日电(袁秀月)出道十年,演员这个身份似乎并没有为焦俊艳增加什么光环。平均一年2到3部的作品,稳定增长的口碑,但她始终不温不火。收入也没多高,买不起北京的第二套房。
  然而“生活难起来比事业还要难”,一个30出头的单身女性,首先面临的就是催婚。焦俊艳觉得,婚姻不应该是一件着急的事,催婚可能会适得其反。不过,她仍然过得很开心。她要做的就是不仅自己过得好,还要把父母照顾好,这样他们就无话可说了。
  在北京想买两套房,其实钱也不够
  2009年,焦俊艳出演第一部电影,至今已经十年。这十年间,她出演了40余部作品。其中,《遇见王沥川》《法医秦明》都取得不错的口碑。但她自己,却始终处在“戏红人不红”的状态。
  在《我家那闺女》中,她和papi酱一起去三里屯,认出papi酱的人远比认出她的人要多。对此,焦俊艳早已习惯,她跟别的朋友一起出去,也是认识他们的人多,作为朋友她也很自豪。
  她认可自己不温不火的状态,她认为,任何一个事情都需要拿其他的部分来换。你的精力放在哪个方面,哪方面自然有回报。
  “我觉得事业只是人生的一部分,还有健康、家人、爱人,这些都可能给你带来幸福感。”这是焦俊艳对事业和生活的看法。
  所以,尽管从来不会跟父母撒娇,爸爸也总是嫌弃她“土”,但她还是选择和父母住在一起。他们一起凑了首付,在北京郊区买了一套房。她半开玩笑说,主要是因为北京限购,“当然不限购在北京想买两套房,其实钱也不够”。
  两代人住在一块,理念不同,沟通有问题,矛盾也会更多。但有一个好处,就是至少能多陪伴他们。“因为我们这个职业,经常在外面漂泊,不住在一起,一年也见不到几次。”
  在焦俊艳看来,人最难过的就是子欲养而亲不在,所以能做就做,别等哪天后悔。
  父母排在人生第几位?
  在节目中,爸爸吐槽焦俊艳不爱打扮,穿得像淤泥,逗笑不少网友。这并不是为了节目故意而言,焦俊艳说,其实私下里,爸爸对自己的打扮也很毒舌,总是觉得她“土”。过年回老家马鞍山时,他都不愿带她出门。
  而上完节目后,焦俊艳也调侃,爸爸变得“膨胀了”,回到家会跟她大谈表演,还会在朋友圈发广告。
  尽管相互吐槽,但焦俊艳还是将父亲视为她的精神偶像,“我觉得我身上比较好的品质,都是在我爸那儿学来的,虽然他只是一个普通的钢厂工人,但我心里一直挺崇拜他”。
  上期节目中,好友papi酱谈到自己的“人生排名”,说自己最重要,其次是伴侣,再是孩子和父母。这个排名在爸爸中引起争议,在网上也引起很多讨论。
  在焦俊艳看来,其实那个东西不需要排序,因为在生活中遇到问题时也不具备什么指导意义。她觉得家人都重要,就像人的器官一样,不是很重要的零件,出了点问题也能致命。“我觉得在当下谁最需要关心谁就排第一,家人也能彼此体谅。”
  和父母相处,焦俊艳也有了一些心得,她认为,还是应该孩子多去包容。“我们应该去了解父母的逻辑,无非就是希望我们过得幸福。”
  现在,她还是不会对父母讲很多工作中的困扰,因为他们也解决不了。她特别同意那句话——生活需要经验,需要智慧。
  催婚可能会适得其反
  事业努力了就会有部分收获,而生活却并不一定。在焦俊艳眼中,其实生活难起来比事业还要难,因为生活需要两个人的努力,还需要两个人的幸运。但还好,她现在还没有这方面的麻烦。
  因为,她还在面临前一步——催婚。
  和很多中国式的家庭一样,焦俊艳从来不习惯和父母聊情感问题,她会觉得不好意思,她也不知道如何跟他们谈男女之间的事。
  所以,尽管她到了适婚年龄还单身,但在家里,他们并不会常聊这个话题。
  “大家可能想聊,都绷着,我爸无非是在喝多酒之后跟我聊,然后聊崩了,之后再给他倒两杯就睡了。”焦俊艳说,基本就是用这种方法解决催婚的问题。
  她并不同意催婚,因为她觉得,婚姻不应该是一件着急的事,它是一种人生的选择,到了这一天,有这个愿望了,你才会为此努力。而在此之前,催婚只会适得其反。
  不过,她也并不想标榜自己是独立女性。世界是公平的,未婚单身女性有痛点,结婚生子的女性也有痛点。所以她觉得,尽量自己继续寻找快乐,不要寻找麻烦,好生活不一定在别处,好生活在自己的脚下,需要去寻找,需要去创造幸福。
  至于怎么生活,只要尊重当下的自己就好。“今年30出头我是这么想的,那我就这样去做,我会尽量反思自己。如果到40岁的时候,我发现世界不是我30岁认知的样子了,可能我会去改变。”焦俊艳说。
  而在改变现在的想法之前,她要做的就是尽可能自己过得好,不仅自己过得好,还要把父母照顾好,这样他们就无话可说了。
  不过,有时候,她也会反思自己,是不是把婚姻想得太复杂了。但还好,每天并不是只想这一件事。而参加节目也像一个助推器,帮助她和父母进行沟通。
  “有些问题你沟通出来可能会有争执,但不一定是坏事,争执完了之后,反而大家会达到一个更平和的状态。”不管怎样,在焦俊艳看来,这是一个好的改变。(完)



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