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65.4%受访家长:会在学习成绩方面设置育儿标准

2019-02-21 20:31:05

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     养孩子到底有没有标准
  65.4%受访家长会在学习成绩方面设置育儿标准
  家长应该按照某种育儿标准教育孩子吗?近日,中国青年报社社会调查中心联合问卷网(wenjuan.com),对2009名受访者进行的一项调查显示,受访家长最容易在学习成绩、兴趣特长以及旅游经历和见识阅历等方面设置育儿标准。62.5%的受访者会把“有志向”作为一项育儿标准。
  65.4%受访家长会在学习成绩方面设置育儿标准





  在广告行业工作的林奕(化名)是一名90后,刚刚结婚,正准备要孩子,“我会在人格、学业还有品味方面对孩子有要求。首先,这是为人父母的责任。其次我是一个控制欲比较强的人,在孩子还没有足够判断力的时候,我会希望孩子按照我规划的方向走,这样比较省力,对孩子也好”。
  深圳某高中教师付雯雯(化名)的女儿已经上小学了,“我对孩子知识量的要求很高,会给她买很多科教、开发智力的书。我和孩子爸爸上学时,成绩都很优异,在这方面肯定是有一定的遗传的。我相信孩子是有天赋的,而且我也看到了她有一些优势在上面,所以会着重培养这一方面”。
  调查显示,受访家长最容易在学习成绩(65.4%)、兴趣特长(56.0%)以及旅游经历和见识阅历(49.3%)等方面设置育儿标准。
  受访家长的育儿标准也多种多样,性格开朗(63.5%)、生活自理能力强(55.0%)和有礼貌(52.7%)是最常见的标准,其他还有:要有特长才艺(44.5%)、有毅力(30.0%)、成绩好(25.9%)、热爱祖国(25.5%)等。
  “我希望孩子在物质层面达到中等水平,能满足的我们都会尽量满足,但也不会去奢侈消费。另外,我希望孩子身体素质好,会督促她锻炼。学习上,我主要还是以提高她的学习兴趣为主,给她买很多的课外书。”付雯雯说,她曾送女儿去学画画,发现孩子实在不感兴趣也就不让孩子学了,“我现在正让她学围棋”。
  调查中,62.5%的受访者会把有志向作为一项育儿标准。
  53.3%受访者认为家长应按育儿标准养育孩子
  前段时间,一份5岁娃的简历爆红网络。孩子的简历显示,这位小朋友两岁开始听诗歌并跟唱,5岁会背百首古诗,英文书年阅读量超过500本。复旦大学社会发展与公共政策学院副教授沈奕裴表示,这个5岁的孩子简历确实惊人。“孩子阅读量很大,但是小孩子9岁前最主要的是要掌握一些运动技能,同时要形成对时间的感受,家长做得越多,孩子的自我就被替代得越厉害。有一个观点是说,孩子这个阶段多阅读当然很好,但是没有必要去攀比。如果孩子喜欢阅读就让他多阅读,不喜欢阅读就多引导”。
  调查中,53.3%的受访者认为家长养育孩子应该遵循育儿标准,21.1%的受访者认为不应该。
  沈奕裴认为,家长设置过于功利的育儿标准没有必要。“我自己有两个孩子,他们喜欢什么我都会让他们做。但很多家长做不到这样,比较焦虑。家长的压力主要来自于他们对孩子成长阶段的不了解,他们不知道孩子在什么年龄段是什么表现。其实孩子成长的过程就是一直犯错的过程,但成人总追求完美,就会觉得孩子不符合标准,就很容易焦虑”。
  “每个孩子都不一样,怎么能够有统一的育儿标准呢?”沈奕裴说。
  中国青年报·中青在线记者 王品芝 实习生 李丹妮 来源:中国青年报









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